As I am writing this, it’s currently 2:23 AM and I am re-listening to “The Life Of Pablo” by Kanye West. While revisiting the album, I thought about the media’s portrayal of Kanye West. Whether it be storming onto the stage at the Grammy’s or announcing a run for the American presidency, Kanye has always been portrayed as problematic and even outright crazy. As I recounted all the “crazy” moments he has had over the years, I started to look over to the portrayal of musicians and artists in general. In my lifetime, there are very few artists that have made it big that weren’t problematic in one way or another. Why is it that we see so many young artists die from drug overdoses, get arrested, or just have full on mental breakdowns in front of the public eye? A lot of what I have read has indicated that it's the lifestyle and there is no debating that it is a factor. The bright lights are tough on the psyche and with the money and status that is on the line for artists, there is no surprise that the lifestyle can impact the actions of artists. However, many of these artists have acted in the same way even prior to making it big through their craft, their flaws were simply amplified once the fame had rolled round, so what causes this behaviour in the first place.
As some quick background, I've meant to start this website months ago. I always had something to say and I felt that a blog could help relieve my stress. However, when it came to actually writing blog posts, I would always blank. I would open up a text editor with a fervor, excited to write my first post, and end a two hour writing session with nothing on the page and three tabs of YouTube open. This is normal of course, everyone gets writer’s block. Yet, every time I looked into my notes on my iPhone, I had pages of thoughts, poems, songs, stories, and experiences to share. If I was this creative in the past, why can’t I just channel some of that and brute force my way into finishing a post and actually feeling like I am productive. While rereading the notes I noticed a common theme: they were usually at odd hours of the night during periods of time where I was stressed out of my mind or hurting. My most creative moments occurred when I was raw: when I was beaten, bruised, and vulnerable. My most creative night was March 28th of 2019, better known to the class of 2019 as Ivy day. It was on the day I was rejected from my dreams schools that I was able to write some of the best poetry of my life, a small consolation prize for the soul crushing dread I felt that night. This is clearly not a state I or any artist can or should forcibly induce on command… or is it?
When I look at all the great artists of my time and throughout history, it is nearly impossible to find one that doesn't use pain as a source of creativity. It seems that the only way to tear down a creative blockade is to tear oneself down first: either through memories or action. Many times this is unintentional, artists come from broken homes, violent upbringings, and circumstances where the future seems bleak, and that always makes their claim to fame seem that much more inspirational in the public eye. However, maybe this is necessary. Maybe it isn’t the media forcing their agenda of feel-good stories into the mainstream, maybe their creativity can only come from pain. It's easy to see why drug addiction is so prevalent within creative industries, it's a surefire way to poison your body, subsequently providing the pain necessary to squeeze out some artwork. It's a bleak thought and I’m sure it has its exceptions, but it seems that for the most part art is painful. Luckily, drugs, heartbreak, violence, and mental health issues are all starting to be recognized as problems within the music world, as well as other creative industries. Fans, including myself, have always bashed the people closest to superstars for letting them hurt themselves without help and now it seems that a lot of artists are going on breaks to receive proper help. With artists seeming healthier and happier on break, some have actually stopped producing art altogether, choosing to live the lives of “a normal person”. With this it has become clear to me: an artist cannot bear their product to us without first sacrificing themselves in the process.
The path to creative clarity is paved with gold, but is tolled with safety and sanity.
Thanks for reading,
Hamza Malik
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